Subject lines and story emails

Lesson 14 of 31 in the course “Million Dollar Sales Course”. Free, with animations and a quiz.

Case: “Hey” raised millions

In the last lesson you introduced yourself with a series. Now let’s write emails people open every day. We start with the subject line. In 2012, Barack Obama’s campaign raised $690 million online, and most of it came from emails. 20 writers worked on them, and each email was tested in several versions, sometimes 18, before going out to the full list. The subjects that worked best looked like a note from someone you know: “Hey”, “Wow”, “Join me for dinner?”. The subject “I will be outspent” beat 17 other variants and raised over $2.6 million. Takeaway: the subject decides whether the email gets opened, and only testing on real people tells you which one wins.

The subject line is the headline

Remember headlines from lesson 11? Jim Edwards says a subject line works exactly the same way: a bad subject means no open, no read, no money. In his experience the best subjects are short, clear, and often a question. Like “Nobody finishes your videos?”. People who truly care will open it, and the rest will skip it, and that’s fine. Two honesty rules. The subject promises what’s inside: someone tricked once won’t open again. And no “Re:” or “Your order” when there was no reply or order: that’s a fake, and people report it as spam. All caps and “!!!” are out too, that’s spam handwriting.

A teaser email: one goal, the click

A common mistake is trying to sell everything inside the email, with the curriculum, price and reviews over ten screens. Edwards says that almost always an email has one job: get the person to click the link. The page or video does the selling. His outline has six parts. The subject. A greeting by name, so it doesn’t feel like a blast to a million people. A surprising line that snaps them out of scrolling: “9 in 10 people drop a video by the third second”. Two to four points that stir curiosity. One clear call to action. And a personal sign-off. When in doubt, go shorter. Edwards’ most successful email was four lines, though he notes that only fits your own subscribers, not strangers.

Emails about nothing that sell

The series is over, now what? Brunson admits he used to write emails packed with value, each taking days. Then he noticed: after the introduction, people don’t want a lecture, they want a person. He switched from 100% content to 90% entertainment and 10% content, and by his account opens, clicks and sales went up. He calls them “Seinfeld emails”, after the show about nothing. You tell what happened in your day: funny, awkward, annoying. But there’s one hard rule: every story leads to an offer. Without that, Brunson writes, you won’t make a dime, even if you’re the best storyteller in the world. Misha’s cat knocked over the camera, the crooked shot became the best moment, and here’s the lesson on saving bad shots.

Case: the golf email and $20 million

In the book, Brunson shows an email that by his account made over $100,000. Subject: “[True Story] He FLUSHED $20 million down the toilet”. The story: a man had sold 100,000 units of his golf product on TV and applied to Brunson’s coaching group. But on the call he said he’d read 20 books on internet marketing and Brunson knows nothing about golf, and hung up. The bridge: books can’t give you what practice next to people who’ve done it gives. The call: apply to the group. Notice: no lecture, just a real-life incident that reads like a TV episode and leads naturally to an offer. Break down any event from your week the same way.

How often to email

Lots of people fear emailing often: what if they unsubscribe? Brunson did too. He emailed once a month, and the response was awful. He moved to twice a month and, by his account, income more than doubled. Then weekly, twice a week, every other day, and now he emails daily because, as he puts it, a day without an email is lost money. But that’s his experience with his audience, not a law. Combine it with lesson 12: frequency is fine as long as people are interested. Say upfront how often you’ll write, raise frequency gradually, and watch three numbers: opens, unsubscribes and complaints. For Misha, 2–3 emails a week is a sensible start, adding more while opens hold.

Where to find a story every day

“What do I write about every day?” Brunson gives prompts. What happened today. What was awkward or embarrassing. A purchase you love and one you regret. What drove you mad yesterday but is funny today. What your cat, little brother or friend got up to. Edwards adds his “three Ms”: a myth everyone repeats, a misconception, and a mistake everyone makes. Mistakes, he says, hook hardest, because nobody wants to make one. Misha has plenty of stories: a client sent vertical and horizontal clips mixed up, his phone died mid-shoot, everyone thinks you need an expensive computer. Jot ideas in your notes right away, while you still remember the details.

Do it yourself: a story email in 20 minutes

Pick one story from your week and build an email from the card. Subject: up to five words, a question or a tease, and always true to what’s inside. Story: start at the hottest moment, like in lesson 13. Bridge: “and here’s what I realized”, one thought linking the story to your topic. Call: one link, one action, not five buttons. Sign-off: your name. Read it out loud: does it sound like a message to a friend or an ad? If it’s an ad, cut. Write two subjects and, if your service allows, send each to half the list, then save the winner to your swipe file. Next: how to email strangers without becoming a spammer.

Check yourself

1. Which subject should he pick?
   Correct answer: “Nobody finishes your videos?”. A short question about the reader’s pain that honestly describes the email. The people who truly care will open it.
2. What’s wrong?
   Correct answer: The stories don’t lead to an offer: no bridge, no link. People enjoy the stories but don’t know what to do next. Brunson says it outright: without a link to an offer, even the best storyteller won’t make a dime.
3. What should change in the email?
   Correct answer: Make a short teaser: 3 curiosity points and one link to the course page. An email has one job: the click. The page does the selling. A short teaser builds curiosity and sends people to where everything is laid out.
4. What should he do?
   Correct answer: Tell subscribers and gradually email more often, watching opens, unsubscribes and complaints. People open and reply, so they’re interested. Gradually raising frequency with an honest heads-up means more contact, and the numbers show where to stop.

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