Toward gains or away from losses
Lesson 23 of 31 in the course “Brain Hacks”. Free, with animations and a quiz.
Two ways of wanting the same thing
Picture two students. Both want to ace their exams. The first reads beyond the syllabus, hunts for extra material and grabs anything that might raise the grade. The second carefully checks every requirement, hands everything in on time and makes sure there are no slip-ups. Same goal, different ways. A psychologist who studied motivation described two modes. The first is “toward gains”: you want to rise from zero to plus, to get more. The second is “away from losses”: you want to not slip from zero to minus, to keep what you have. Everyone has both modes, but one is usually louder. This lesson covers how they work, what feelings they bring and how to spot yours.
“I want” and “I must”
The “toward gains” mode lives in hopes and dreams: who I want to become, what I want to achieve. It likes eager strategies: try things, look for chances, don’t miss opportunities. The “away from losses” mode lives in duties and responsibilities: what I ought to do, what I mustn’t lose. It prefers careful strategies: check, play safe, avoid mistakes. Even the same goal can feel different. A good relationship, for one person, is a dream to reach for. For another, it’s a responsibility to protect. Neither mode is “right.” They’re just different engines. What matters is knowing which one is running right now, because that decides which methods will work.
Why failures feel different
Each mode has its own emotions, and that’s useful to know about yourself. Success in “toward gains” feels like joy and a lift: “Yes, I did it!” Failure feels like sadness, disappointment, low energy: a dream didn’t come true. Success in “away from losses” feels not like delight but like calm and relief: “Phew, all good.” Failure feels like anxiety and tension: something important is at risk. This idea grew out of a psychologist’s work on the difference between dejection and anxiety. So when you feel bad, it helps to ask: “Am I sad because I didn’t get what I wanted? Or anxious because I’m afraid of losing something?” The answer decides what helps: a new goal and a small win, or a plan that restores a sense of safety.
Neither mode is better
It’s easy to decide “toward gains” sounds cooler: dreams, drive, growth. But each mode has its strengths and traps. “Toward gains” is great when you need lots of ideas, to move fast and take a chance on something new. Its trap is rushing and underestimating risk. “Away from losses” is great where accuracy and reliability matter: checking a contract, learning formulas, not blowing your savings. Its trap is standing still and missed chances due to caution. So strong teams, start-ups and couples often combine both: one proposes, the other checks. If you know which mode is louder in you, you know which voice you’re missing, and you can call it in on purpose.
The situation flips the mode too
The mode depends not only on character but on how a task is framed. “Bonus for results” switches on “toward gains.” “Penalty for errors” switches on “away from losses.” That leads to a surprising point the researcher makes. Say a boss wants staff to care more about safety and offers a cash bonus for it. The bonus energises people but switches on “toward gains”, which values speed and growth, not caution. The incentive pulls the wrong way. For tasks needing care, a “what we’ll protect and avoid” frame fits better. It works on you too. Preparing for a test where accuracy matters, think “where could I make a mistake.” Writing an essay that needs ideas, think “what could I add.”
Test: which mode is louder in you
A quick self-check, not scientific, just to notice your style. Read four statements and note which you agree with more. “I often think about who I’ll become and what I’ll achieve.” “I often think about how not to mess up or let people down.” “New opportunities fire me up, even if not everything is clear.” “It calms me to have a plan B and to have double-checked everything.” The first and third are “toward gains”; the second and fourth are “away from losses.” Most people respond to both groups, just to different degrees. And the mode can vary by area: careful in studies, risky in a hobby. Remember your main mode. Next lesson you’ll use it to find a goal that fits like a glove.
Danya and Masha look at the same chart
Danya is a vivid “toward gains.” Seeing a coin rise, he instantly pictures x10 and looks for other coins that might take off. His friend Masha is clearly “away from losses.” She looks at the same chart and asks: “Where will you get out if it drops? How much are you willing to lose?” That used to annoy Danya: “You always ruin everything.” After the lesson he realised Masha isn’t ruining things; she covers his blind spot. His mode brings ideas and boldness; hers brings protection from silly losses. Now they have a rule: Danya brings an idea, Masha asks three questions about risks. If there are answers, Danya acts on his plan. If not, the idea waits. It’s no guarantee of profit, but fewer decisions you regret later.
Try it: two versions of one goal
Take one goal for the coming months and write it two ways. First as a hope: “I’ll pass English and go on an exchange.” Second as a duty: “I won’t fail English and won’t lose my grant.” Read both out loud and listen to yourself. Which gives you more energy, and which makes you want to put it off till tomorrow? Usually one sounds like “mine” and the other like someone else’s. Pick the one that energises you and put it where you’ll see it every day. One more thing: if someone close to you runs in the other mode, don’t argue about who’s right. Ask what they see that you don’t. It’s the cheapest way to get a second view of your goal.
Check yourself
- Two students want a top grade. One reads beyond the syllabus, the other checks every requirement. What does this show?
Correct answer: Same goal, different modes: “toward gains” and “away from losses”. Yes. Same goal, different ways of wanting and pursuing it. - You failed at something you were obliged to do and feel anxious and tense. Which mode is most likely hit?
Correct answer: “Away from losses”: something you mustn’t lose is at risk. Yes. Failing a duty usually feels like anxiety, not sadness. - A boss wants staff to be more careful and offers a safety bonus. What’s the risk?
Correct answer: A bonus switches on “toward gains”, but caution needs “away from losses”. Yes. The incentive must fit the task, or it pulls the wrong way. - Danya is “toward gains”, Masha is “away from losses”. How should they work together?
Correct answer: He brings ideas, she checks risks. Yes. The two modes cover each other’s blind spots.